Cinematical

Idle thoughts on a Sunday afternoon: How radically different would some movies be if the sexual orientation of a single character was changed? Actress Meredith Baxter revealed last week that she's a lesbian, which made me think of her most famous role as a mother in Family Ties, which made me think of Michael J. Fox, who played her son in that series. And that made me think of his most famous role as a son in Back to the Future, which made me think: what if Marty McFly's mother (played by Lea Thompson) was gay?

That would eliminate the most squeamish element of the movie: Lorraine's attraction to Marty. (When she's admiring him in his Calvin Kleins, yeesh! Get me out of here.) Instead, Marty might have time traveled back to 1955, seen that Lorraine wasn't attracted to George McFly (Crispin Glover), and then gradually come to realize -- with his 1985 perspective -- that his mother wasn't attracted to any of the boys in school, but was nursing a secret crush on one of her female classmates. Recognizing the social pressures against homosexuality in the 50s and battling his own mixed feelings, Marty still maneuvers circumstances so that his mother will decide to remain in the closet and marry George. Marty goes back to the future with a heavy heart, glad to be alive but with the secret, bittersweet knowledge that his self-sacrificing, loving mother may not be not truly happy.

What other movies might be radically changed if the sexual orientation of one of the characters was different?

The holiday season usually issues forth an avalanche of award-contending dramas, feel-good family films, and oddball counter programming. Last weekend was no exception, with the debuting Old Dogs, Ninja Assassin, and The Road jostling for attention with New Moon and The Blind Side. Of all those movies, the one that jumps out at me is The Blind Side, which actually increased its audience in its second week of release.

That's a pretty rare feat, especially for a wide release, and speaks to the broad appeal of the film. "Yes, Virginia, Sandra Bullock is the biggest female star in the world... again," in the words of David Poland at The Hot Blog, and there's no doubt that Bullock's celebrity, even more than her compelling, measured performance, is a big draw. Yet with big stars like Will Farrell and Jim Carrey failing to bring in the expected box office this year, Bullock is not the whole story. Nor is it only a matter of the movie being "generically acceptable [for families] to watch together over the holiday weekend," as our own Eugene Novikov suggested, although, to be fair, it's likely that 'the Sandie Bullock football movie' would be an easier sell to more families to watch together than 'the bare-chested boy vampire romance' or 'the violent ninja flick.'

No, I think it's clear that positive word of mouth has spread. What have people told their friends? Maybe that the first, widely-seen and frequently-mocked (by me) trailer was not representative of the movie as a whole, which comes by its emotions honestly.

What major movie production features an interracial friendship that defies all the expected stereotypes? Hint: it's not the one starring Sandra Bullock.

On its own merits, The Blind Side is a heartwarming story of the modern South, in which a rich white 40-something woman (Bullock) befriends a poor black teenager (Quenton Aaron). Their relationship develops to the point that the young man feels a part of her family. I agree with our reviewer, Jette Kernion, who described it as "a very good example of a sports-related family film, with quality performances and writing." She also notes the "seeming visual message that the African-American community can't or won't care for their own, and that the saviors here are rich white conservatives." The film is based on a non-fiction account, but it still makes me wonder why, exactly, we needed another film depicting that particular racial dynamic -- beyond providing a great starring role for Bullock and the aforementioned heartwarming elements.

As finely-edged as a new razor blade, Ninja Assassin establishes itself as a contender for "CGI Fu Movie of the Decade" in its very first sequence, gleefully slicing off body parts with the abandon of an extreme gore flick that would satisfy most horror hounds. It rocks back and forth between ponderous philosophical pontifications and riotously preposterous action scenes like a ticking time bomb, exploding in geysers of blood at regular intervals. Our reviewer William Goss was much less taken with the film than I am -- I think it's fair to say he hated it -- so bear in mind that your mileage may vary wildly. However, I feel confident in saying that Ninja Assassin presents a rarely seen relationship: a friendship between two people that makes no mention of their racial differences.

In a report that will shock anyone that doesn't go to the movies, an advocacy group claims that movie theater popcorn is not a very good nutritional snack. In a press release, the Center for Science in the Public Interest says they commissioned laboratory analyses indicating a medium-size popcorn and medium-size soda purchased at a Regal theater, the country's largest movie theater chain, contains the nutritional equivalent of three McDonald's Quarter Pounders with 12 pats of butter. "Sitting through a two-hour movie isn't exactly like climbing Mt. Everest," a senior nutritionist for the Center said. "Why do theaters think they need to feed us like it is?"

Ah, but that comment betrays an ignorance of the current cinema. When I caught 2012 on opening day, for example, I watched it with a tub of popcorn by my side, as our reviewer Peter Hall suggested ($7.50 for a large popcorn at AMC). It gave me something to do during the non-disaster scenes. On a more serious note, the Center points out the high amount of saturated fat results from movie theater chains Regal and AMC using coconut oil to pop their popcorn. The Cinemark chain uses canola oil, which results in much less "artery-clogging" saturated fat.

For their part, the chains aren't talking, reports The Los Angeles Times, though Regal falls back on the MPAA's statistic that says the average American only attends six movies a year and thus: "Theater popcorn and movie snacks are viewed as a treat and not intended to be part of a regular diet." I know our readers watch up to six movies in a single weekend, so I ask you: Do you skip popcorn entirely? Do you buy anything from movie concession stands? If theaters offered healthier fare, would you buy it?

Tethered to reality by only a slender thread, Pirate Radio quickly cuts loose and floats off into its own imaginary layer of the Earth's atmosphere, where only good-hearted, pleasant-thinking, die-hard romantics can survive. Welcome home, Richard Curtis, where have you been?

Writer/director Curtis rose to fame on the basis of his screenplay for Four Weddings and a Funeral, featuring an ensemble of quirky yet appealing men and women chasing love and happiness, followed, notably, by his script for Notting Hill, but he's been writing off-kilter comedy sketches and episodic television for many years. Pirate Radio proves that his gift for writing witty one-liners and creating funny situations remains intact. His skills as a film director and shaper of material are a little more fuzzy and undefined, however.

As with Love, Actually, his previous directorial effort, Pirate Radio (AKA The Boat That Rocked) is filled with episodes that feel randomly assembled, knit together by proximity and happenstance more than narrative necessity. For all the laughter and positive feelings that Pirate Radio generates, it's a lightweight treatment of a potentially heavyweight subject.